I started working as a figure model when I was 22. I worked for around 10 years as a model, and enjoyed it very much. I am now looking back on my experiences, and writing about them.
One day, back in 1978, my friend Laura and I went for a hike. The hike took us past a pond, and we stopped to go skinny-dipping. When we were finished swimming, we sat on a rock and waited for our bodies to dry before we put our clothes back on.
As we were sitting there, she gave me a long look and told me that I really should model nude for art classes. She had taken art classes in college.
In those days, I was very thin and only weighed 140 pounds. I asked her if I was too thin to be a model. She told me that she much preferred drawing thin models as it was much easier to find all the anatomical landmarks. It was also great that I didn't have much body hair yet -- I only had hair in my armpits, a little on my legs and pubic hair of course. I even didn't shave yet.
She told me that all the male models she had drawn were heavy, hairy, and not very flexible. She compared them to beached whales. Laura said that if I ever decided to be a model, she was sure that I would be very popular.
So I decided to give it a try. I called college art departments and arts organizations to get work. I wasn't called back right away, but then an arts organization called and asked me to model nude the following Tuesday evening. I would get paid $10 for a two hour class. I was told to bring a robe to wear when I wasn't posing.
I was very nervous the first time. The session was held on the second floor of a former library. There were eight artists present. There was a platform in the front of the room. After changing into my robe in the bathroom, I walked to the platform and took off my robe. This was the first time I had let so many people see me naked. But I felt exhilarated to be naked in front of them.
I was told to start with ten two-minute gesture poses. Since I had taken yoga classes, I was very flexible. I did a lot of twists and stretches. I was a little shy still, and almost all the poses were with my back to the artists. I tried to avoid showing my penis to them, for whatever reason.
At the first break, one of the artists came up to me. The artist was in his late 50s, and dressed very well. He told me his name was Howard, and that he had heard this was my first time modeling. He told me that I was doing a fantastic job, and all the artists were enjoying drawing me. He told me that I had a great back and ass, but the artists want to also draw my front. He requested that I take standing poses that faced forward for the next two poses.
When I got back on the platform, the next two poses were ten minutes each. In the first pose, I stood with a slight twist facing the artists. My genitals were front and center, and that was absolutely fine with me and with the artists. For the second pose, I held a stick over my head with both hands and again faced forward. Holding a stick caused some strain, which the artists captured nicely. I saw these drawings when I walked around the room during the next break, looking at the art created of me.
For the third pose, I was asked to do a forty minute pose. Howard set up the pose for me. He piled up some large pillows and cushions on the platform, and told me to put my chest and belly on the pillows, thereby elevating my hips. My head was to be on the ground. One leg was to be straight, and the other leg was bent leaning against the pillows.
I got into that position, and I heard someone say "Now really, Howard!". Howard said that it was his turn to set up the long pose and this was what he wanted. He set himself up directly behind me.
I could tell that I was quite exposed. Because I was so thin and because my legs were so spread apart, my balls and asshole were very prominently displayed. But the pose was very comfortable and easy to hold.
When I was done, Howard asked me to look at his drawing and asked what I thought. It was expertly done and extremely detailed. I could see my balls hanging down. I could see my ass spread and my asshole puckered open. I could see a small bulge between my asshole and balls -- I asked Howard what that was, and he said it was my prostate. I could see a dark ridge that extended from my asshole to my balls -- when I pointed to it, Howard told me that some men have a line like that. Technically, it's called the perineal raphe. All men have this, but it was especially prominent on me. He told me that men have vaginas when they are fetuses, but eventually the tissue fuses and the perineal raphe is formed. Howard told me that, in his opinion, men with prominent perineal raphes tend to have more feminine characteristics.
Look at you for example, he went on. You are thin, have little body hair (the lack of hair around your testicles and asshole is great for seeing the anatomy), and are willing to take very open, revealing poses. All of this is what female nude models do -- most of the male nude models just want to show us their muscles. Believe me, he said, I am not criticizing you for this. We all appreciate your work tremendously, and are looking forward to having you model for us frequently.
Since he was the monitor today, he handed me an envelope with my ten dollar fee. He asked me what I did when not modeling. I told him I was a graduate student at the university, working towards my PhD in mathematics.
Howard said that was great, and then he gave me another envelope. This one contained another ten dollar bill and his card.
Howard told me that sometimes he likes to give models a tip, that's what the extra money was for. And he also hires models privately -- if I am interested, I should call him.
A few days later, I gave Howard a call. He told me that I could model for him the next day, if I was free. We arranged that I would go to his studio at 10 am.
When I got there, Howard welcomed me in. He told me that he recently retired from being a lawyer. He had made lots of money, and now all he wanted to do was be an artist. He also told me that he was interested in being a mentor to intelligent young men like me who might be low on money at this point in their lives, but who had great prospects for their future.
He told me that he had a proposal for me. He said that he would like to be my patron. He wanted to give me money for my rent and for living expenses. But in return, he wanted me to come to his house at least twice a week so he could draw me.
Just by going to figure drawing classes, he could draw nude models, of course. But he wanted to have a special relationship with one particular model, who he would work with frequently and know very well. This was how it was done in the old days, and he wanted to experience that himself.
He told me that he most enjoys drawing models that are completely open to him, both physically and emotionally. In the typical class, there is a large distance between artist and model. Generally there is no talking, they know nothing of each other's lives, and although the model is nude, they are not intimate with each other at all.
But years ago, artists and models were much closer, and frequently had sex with each other. This enabled the artist to better understand the model's body, and encouraged models to be more expressive in their poses.
He told me that having sex with him would be an important part of our relationship. Each time that I came over, we would start with sex and then when we were finished, I would model for him.
I thought about his proposal, and decided to do it.
I asked him a question. Would I be a prostitute if I did this? Is this illegal?
He said not at all. It is always up to you whether we have sex or not. He told me that he would be my mentor -- I would get financial gifts and I would give him physical gifts. I would model for him and I would let him use my body sexually.
I really needed the money! I had never had sex with a man before, but had often fantasized about it. This would be a great time to try it out, and I'd even get paid. He was much older than I was, but that was part of the appeal for me. The differences in our bodies excited me -- he was much larger, much older, and much hairier than I was.
I told him that I would be willing to try this. He reached into his wallet and handed me three twenty dollar bills, and told me that this is my first payment.
We both took off our clothes. I could see that he was already starting to get hard.
I went up to where he was standing, kneeled down, and put his dick in my mouth. It tasted a little sweaty, but not bad. I rolled my tongue around the tip for a little while, and then plunged deeper over the shaft. I could feel the head of his penis go into my throat.
I had to make sure that I breathed through my nose or I would choke. I felt a little gagging when his dick was at his deepest in my throat, but the gagging eventually stopped.
He started moving his hips, and I went still. I felt very passive. I was letting him fuck my mouth and throat. He could thrust at any speed, and I would just take it. I was surprised how deeply I could take him -- his balls were slapping against my chin. I felt myself getting hard.
His dick got a little bigger, and I could feel the pressure against my throat. A little liquid came out, and I tasted his salty pre-cum against my tongue. I wanted to taste his cum so badly! But instead he pulled out of mouth entirely.
He told me to stand up and he sat in front of me. He told me that he wanted me to masturbate. He held out his hand and told me to ejaculate into it.
So I started jerking myself off, and came in about a minute. I was very excited, and there was a big pool of my white semen in Howard's hand.
He told me to get on all fours. He wiped his hand full of my semen on the crack of my ass. I could feel the wetness against my asshole.
I asked him why he did this. He told me that men are not able to self-lubricate their rectums, unlike women who can self-lubricate their vaginas. But he has found that using a man's semen as a lubricant for anal sex is very effective and very exciting for him. Fucking a man and using his semen as the lubricant is the ultimate dominance -- just like a woman, the submissive man has produced a liquid intended to enhance the dominant man's pleasure.
He told me that he knew that I had never been fucked before, and knew I was probably a little scared. I told him that he was right; I was terrified that it would hurt so much!
He told me that he would go slowly, and we would both see how my asshole responded. He came behind me on his knees. He put his left hand on my left cheek, and started massaging it very lightly and very slowly. He then moved his right hand over my perineum and began lightly stroking that area. It felt so good, I really wanted him to touch my asshole. I started rocking back and forth, thrusting my butt into the air.
He noticed this, and he was very pleased to see me so responsive to his touch. He then covered his right pointer finger with my semen, and slowly stuck his finger in my asshole up to the first knuckle. It was very tight, as I was involuntarily resisting the invasion of my body.
Howard told me to contract my asshole over his finger and then relax it. I did this several times, and he told me that I was starting to loosen up. He slid his finger all the way in, and I could feel his finger rub against something inside me that felt great! I asked Howard what that was, and he told me it was my prostrate.
This is the proof that men's bodies were made to be fucked, he said. Otherwise, why would something as wonderful as a prostate be in there?
He then started to move his finger in and out, in and out. It felt so much easier than before, and I really was enjoying the sensation of being penetrated. Suddenly he took his finger out, and I asked him why did he stop, what was wrong? It felt so great!
But the answer was clear. He spread more of my semen on his middle, and then inserted two fingers in my ass. This was twice as wide as before, and initially I resisted. But after a while, it just felt great, and I again started to thrust back and forth as he fucked me with his two fingers.
After a couple of minutes of this, Howard pulled his fingers out of me, and looked at them in a puzzled way. They were covered with white mucus. He then smelled his fingers and told me that they smelled very sweet.
He told me that this was something that he had only seen once before. What he had previously told me that the male anus does not self-lubricate like a female vagina is not always true in all men. There are some men who will produce enormous quantities of sweet-smelling mucus when they are being fucked. There are very few like this, but I was one of them.
Howard told me that we are both extremely lucky. The anal mucus that I produce in such quantities lubricates and protects me. Anal sex to me is as natural as vaginal sex to a woman -- my ass was born to be fucked! And if I wanted to, I could even have multiple men fuck me, one after the other, and it would continue to feel great.
And he is lucky because he gets to fuck me! There is no better lubricant than the anal mucus produced naturally by a man like me whose asshole is more like a cunt, always ready to be fucked!
Usually Howard didn't want to go too fast with a new man who had never been fucked before. One or two fingers were plenty for the first time. But with me, I was obviously ready to have my first dick in my ass, so he decided to go ahead.
I was still on all fours, and Howard told me to put my head on a pillow. This would create a better angle for him to penetrate me deeper. On his knees, he moved closer to me and put the tip pf his penis against my already wet and open asshole. The hardness of his dick against me was so exciting! I started to rub my hole against his dick.
He then very slowly pushed the head of his penis into my awaiting asshole. He had to use a bit of force, as his knob was wider than his two fingers were, and I involuntarily resisted him. He told me to pretend I was shitting. This action would cause my sphincter to open -- but of course, it was to help something go in, not out!
I did what he asked me to do, and I could feel him go deeper. He inserted his dick a few inches. I could feel the pressure of his penis against my prostate and the nerve cells in my anal sphincter were firing off pure pleasure.
He paused, and he told me something I have never forgotten. Having fingers or a dick inserted into my ass was one thing, and obviously I liked the sensations very much. But I must remember that the purpose of an ass fucking is to please the man who is fucking me. The best way to please your man is to forget yourself while he is fucking you. Let him do whatever he wants, and let him move your body however he wants. Your purpose is to be his receptive partner. If you are properly prepared and ready, as you are, you will feel the pleasure of being fucked. But your goal should be my satisfaction.
With that said, he moved his torso on top of my back. I could feel his weight as he was a much larger man than me. I understood that supporting his weight was something that I would do as he fucked me in the position. He then thrusted his dick into my asshole, and I could feel his balls against me. He was in as deep as he could be.
He grabbed me around my chest, and he started moving his dick in and out of me at a very fast pace. I was being overwhelmed by him. I couldn't move since he had me tight against him and he was much stronger than I was. And he was fucking me as hard and fast as he could. With each thrust my body moved forward and with each withdrawal, my body moved back. He was controlling me completely and there was nothing I could do but became part of him, part of his pleasure. The sensations were so powerful, that I no longer was thinking. I just went along with whatever he was doing, and I loved every moment of it.
After a few minutes, his dick got bigger. This was so exciting to me, that I immediately had an orgasm. I write orgasm instead of ejaculation, because the sensation of this orgasm was entirely different from when I ejaculate. To be honest, I didn't even know if I ejaculated. It started slowly, but I felt wave after wave of intensity and pleasure. The waves got stronger and stronger, and I started thrusting like crazy. At the very peak, I could feel Howard's dick get even bigger and start to throb. He was coming inside me, adding his semen to my anal juices.
After he came, he rolled us over on our sides. We just lay like that for a few minutes. He said that he likes to keep his dick inside someone after he's fucked them -- he likes knowing that his semen is being absorbed by the colon into the body of the man he just fucked.
Then he pulled out, and we walked together into his studio. As we walked, I could feel the semen and anal lubrication dripping out of me.
He put on a robe and told me to stay naked. Now that he had fucked me, he was now going to paint me. Just as I had been controlled by him as we were fucking, he was going to control me as I posed and capture my image forever.
He told me that he would pose me in a very comfortable pose. He piled up pillows and cushions on the floor, and told me to lie with my torso and head on the pillow. He wanted me to have both knees on the floor, with my legs very widely spread. I was to do a left, lateral stretch, and turn my head to the right.
He told me that he wanted to be able to see my face, and also he wanted me to prominently display my ass. After looking at the pose, he came over me to and adjusted the pillows slightly so the belly would be below my hips, thereby further raising my ass into the air.
He then was happy, and started his painting. The pose was so comfortable, that I fell asleep for about two hours. When I woke up, he suggested that I look at his work.
His painting was certainly not finished. He had done a good job on my face, it was clearly me. And my ass! My asshole was gaping open after the fucking I had just enjoyed, my entire perineum was wet, and white liquid was dripping out of my anus.
He had taken photographs of me while I was sleeping. Most were taken with a good camera, but a few with a Polaroid camera. He showed me the Polaroids -- I really looked like quite the slut! He told me that he would develop the higher quality photographs, and work from them. He also told me that he might be able to sell the photographs after he had finished using them for his work, and he would share the money with me.
I wondered where he would sell the pictures. He told me that he might sell to pornographic magazines, as he was sure that men would enjoy masturbating to photographs of my ass. Because I was pretty hairless, I barely looked of legal age and some magazines like that look.
And he would also be able to sell photographs to private collectors. He belonged to a network of men who enjoy being patrons to young men. The men in the network often sell photographs of their acquisitions (they refer to people like me as an acquisition because they have paid for us) and accompany the photograph with information about their lives. It excites them tremendously, he told me, to see erotic pictures of men, know they belong to someone, and know what their regular lives are like.
I got dressed, and then Howard suggested that we make a permanent arrangement. As far as he was concerned, this was just a tryout, but I certainly passed! He enjoyed having me model for him, and he enjoyed fucking me.
He asked me how much my rent was, and what my other expenses would be. He suggested that he pay me $1000 per month, and I would come over 2 or 3 times per week. It would be up to each of us when the arrangement was to end -- I could end the arrangement at any time.
I agreed readily to these terms. The money would make a big difference in my life.
He also said the sometimes he liked to trade acquisitions with another member of his group, He would get to fuck his friend's young man, and his friend would get to fuck me. How did I feel about that?
I thought about it for a while, and said I would give it a try if he wanted to swap me for someone else. It could be very exciting, and I would get to experience being fucked by someone else.
This arrangement continued for another three years. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot about myself and about the world. But I eventually earned my PhD and moved away to start working as a professor of mathematics. I was very successful and wrote many papers that were presented at academic conferences.
Many years later, I was presented a paper at a conference in Boston. At the end of the presentation, there were the usual people with questions about my work. But I noticed one elderly man hanging back, and he came up to me only after everyone else had gone. I could see on his nametag that his name was Quentin.
Quentin told me that he had something that he wished to show me, and perhaps I could accompany him to his apartment. We took a taxi to his apartment, which was in a very elegant building just off Harvard Square. When we entered the apartment, I noticed many paintings and drawings of nude young men. He told me to follow him, and we walked into his bedroom.
There on the wall was that very first painting that Howard had made of me. Underneath the painting, in a very nice frame, was a written document. It was titled "Provenance". I put on my reading glasses, and read a brief story of my life, written by Howard long ago. It included my name and what I was studying at the university. It also mentioned what it was like to fuck me, and how anally responsive I had been.
You might wonder why Quentin was showing me this. Was he interested in blackmailing me? Did he want me to become some kind of sexual slave? It was far more interesting -- he just wanted to thank me.
Quentin told me that he had bought the painting thirty years ago, and he had hoped to meet me some day. The painting had inspired him tremendously. Just looking at it had always made him want to fuck.
His husband, who was now deceased, and he had often fucked while looking at the painting of me. They often speculated on what a young slut I must have been, and wondered what I might be doing now. When he had heard that I would be at the conference in Boston, he could not resist taking the opportunity to meet me.
I thanked him very much, and told him a little of what my life was like post-Howard. I do not regret that part of my life at all, even though I am a much different man now. When we are young, it is the time to experience the many things that life has to offer us.
May 8, 2018 in anal